do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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