You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
