woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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