How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
