May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
