you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
