What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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