Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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