next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
