So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
