You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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