But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
