You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I checked into jail on foursquare
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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