Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
