She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
