I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
