just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
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