Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
