Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
