This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
50% drunk capacity currently
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
