i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
