dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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