Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
did you just send me my own nude
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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