listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
