The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
