3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize