What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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