Ambien. No doubt about it.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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