That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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