I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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