I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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