dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
So vagazzling was a success
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
