Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
We are two peas in an std pod
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
