What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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