Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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