ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
