I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
