A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
it glows. i had to have it.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Two words: nipple clamps
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