let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
