Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
