Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
