fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Is this like a preordered booty call?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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