I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
