So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
