Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
the day after is always just damage control
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
