grandma shit on top of the toilet
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
