I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
