Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
