video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
