Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
