If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
