he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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