I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
