my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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