I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
false alarm. still invincible.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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