just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
