i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Everything about him screamed your future.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
