I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
