I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
